People-pleasing in the workplace is a common habit, driven by the desire to be liked and accepted. While it might seem harmless, this behaviour can significantly affect our mental health, productivity, and overall well-being.

The Drive to Please: Why Do We Do It?

People-pleasing stems from a variety of motivations, including:

• Fear of Rejection: A deep-rooted fear of being disliked or ostracized.
• Desire for Approval: Seeking validation from colleagues and superiors.
• Conflict Avoidance: Preferring harmony over confrontation.
• Low Self-Esteem: Believing that our worth is tied to others’ approval.

While these motivations are natural, they can lead us down a path of stress, burnout, and even resentment.

The Impact of People-Pleasing

• Increased Stress: Constantly trying to meet others’ expectations can lead to chronic stress and anxiety.
• Burnout: Taking on too many tasks to please others often results in physical and emotional exhaustion.
• Loss of Identity: Over time, you might lose sight of your own needs and desires.
• Resentment: Feeling unappreciated or taken advantage of can lead to resentment towards colleagues.

Tips to Manage People-Pleasing Tendencies

• Set Boundaries: Learn to say no when necessary. It’s okay to prioritize your own workload and well-being.
• Prioritize Tasks: Focus on your responsibilities and manage your time effectively. Use tools like to-do lists and time-blocking.
• Seek Balance: Strive for a balance between helping others and meeting your own needs.
• Communicate Clearly: Be honest and assertive in your communication. Express your limits and needs respectfully.
• Self-Reflect: Regularly assess why you’re engaging in people-pleasing behaviour and how it’s affecting you.

Opening Up in Therapy: A Safe Space

Discussing people-pleasing behaviours with a therapist can be incredibly beneficial. Therapy provides a safe and confidential environment to explore the underlying causes of your need to please others. Here’s how to open up about it:

• Be Honest: Share your experiences and feelings candidly. Your therapist is there to help, not judge.
• Identify Patterns: Work with your therapist to identify patterns in your behaviour and the triggers for your people-pleasing tendencies.
• Explore Self-Worth: Therapy can help you build self-esteem and recognize your inherent worth, independent of others’ opinions.
• Develop Strategies: Collaborate with your therapist to develop practical strategies to manage and reduce people-pleasing behaviours.
• Practice Assertiveness: Learn and practice assertive communication techniques in a supportive setting.

People-pleasing at work might seem like a path to harmony and success, but it often leads to personal and professional drawbacks. By recognizing these tendencies, setting healthy boundaries, and seeking professional support, you can achieve a more balanced and fulfilling work life. Remember, your well-being is just as important as your professional contributions.