Confidence is a tricky thing. Sometimes, we feel on top of the world, certain of our abilities and ready to take on any challenge. Other times, doubt creeps in, making us question our worth and compare ourselves unfavourably to others. It’s easy to forget that confidence is not a constant state but a fluctuating one, influenced by our experiences, perceptions and self-talk.

The Nature of Confidence

Confidence is the belief in our abilities, skills, and judgment. It’s what propels us to take risks, face challenges, and pursue our goals. However, it’s also deeply personal and varies from one person to another. A confident person is not someone who never feels doubt but someone who acknowledges it and continues to move forward despite it.

Who is a Confident Person?

A confident person I know is my friend, Sarah. She walks into a room with an air of assurance, speaks her mind clearly, and seems unshaken by criticism. But what truly makes her stand out is her ability to embrace vulnerability. Sarah acknowledges her fears and insecurities, yet she doesn’t let them dictate her actions. She’s learned to trust her abilities and to see failure as a learning opportunity rather than a verdict on her worth.

Personal Experience of Confidence

I remember a time when I felt incredibly confident. It was during a presentation at a work conference. I was wearing a tailored navy suit, a crisp white shirt, and my favourite pair of black heels. As I stood in front of the audience, I felt a wave of assurance wash over me. I had prepared meticulously for weeks, knew my material inside and out, and believed in the value of what I was presenting. The positive feedback and engagement from the audience further boosted my confidence. I felt a sense of empowerment, capable of achieving anything I set my mind to.

The Common Struggle with Confidence

So why do we often question our confidence? Several factors contribute to this common struggle:

• Comparison with Others: In today’s social media-driven world, we constantly compare ourselves to others. This comparison often leads to feelings of inadequacy, as we focus on others’ highlight reels rather than our own journey.
• Perfectionism: Many of us set impossibly high standards for ourselves. When we inevitably fall short, we equate it with a lack of ability rather than a natural part of the learning process.
• Fear of Failure: The fear of making mistakes or failing can paralyze us. We start to doubt our abilities, questioning whether we are good enough to succeed.
• Negative Self-Talk: The internal dialogue we maintain can significantly impact our confidence. Persistent negative self-talk erodes our self-esteem and reinforces feelings of inadequacy.

Cultivating Confidence

Building and maintaining confidence is an ongoing process. Here are a few things to remember and practice:

• Acknowledge Your Strengths: Regularly remind yourself of your achievements and strengths. Celebrate your successes, no matter how small they may seem.
• Embrace Your Unique Journey: Understand that everyone’s path is different. Focus on your progress and growth rather than comparing yourself to others.
• Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. Accept that mistakes are part of learning and growth. Treat yourself with the same compassion you would offer a friend.
• Challenge Negative Thoughts: Actively challenge and reframe negative thoughts. Replace them with positive affirmations and constructive self-talk.
• Take Action: Confidence often comes from taking action and stepping out of your comfort zone. Each small step you take builds your confidence over time.

Bringing Confidence to Therapy

Therapy can be a powerful tool for building confidence. A therapist can help you explore the roots of your self-doubt, identify patterns of negative thinking, and develop strategies to boost your self-esteem. In therapy, you can:

• Gain Insight: Understand the underlying causes of your lack of confidence.
• Develop Coping Strategies: Learn techniques to manage anxiety and fear of failure.
• Build Resilience: Strengthen your ability to bounce back from setbacks and view challenges as opportunities for growth.
• Foster Self-Acceptance: Cultivate a deeper sense of self-acceptance and worth.

Confidence is a journey, not a destination. It’s about recognizing your worth, embracing your unique strengths, and continually working towards personal growth. Whether through self-reflection, taking action or seeking therapy, remember that building confidence is a process that takes time and patience. Embrace your journey, and trust in your ability to grow and thrive.