Therapy can be a powerful journey of self-discovery, healing, and growth. However, the path is rarely linear or quick. Many clients enter therapy with certain expectations—some realistic, others not so much—that can hinder their progress. Understanding and managing these expectations is crucial for a more fulfilling therapeutic experience. Let’s explore common unrealistic expectations in therapy and how both clients and therapists can work together to set more realistic goals.

Common Unrealistic Expectations in Therapy

• Instant Solutions
  Many clients hope therapy will provide quick fixes to deep-rooted issues. They may expect to feel better immediately or believe that one session will be enough to resolve years of trauma, anxiety, or depression.
• Therapist as a Fixer
  Some clients see their therapist as a saviour who will tell them exactly what to do, or even solve their problems for them. This belief can stem from feeling overwhelmed or unsure of how to navigate their own emotions.
• Constant Progress Without Setbacks
  The expectation that progress will be steady and unbroken is another common misconception. Clients often feel discouraged when they hit a rough patch or when old patterns resurface, viewing these as failures rather than natural parts of the therapeutic process.
• Total Elimination of Negative Emotions
  Some clients come to therapy hoping to never feel sad, anxious, or angry again. They may expect therapy to erase all uncomfortable emotions, rather than learning how to cope with and manage them.
• Immediate Changes in Relationships
  Clients may anticipate that therapy will quickly improve their relationships with others, such as partners or family members, without realizing that those changes often require time, patience, and, sometimes, participation from those other people as well.

Strategies to Make Expectations More Realistic

• Setting Clear, Achievable Goals
  At the outset of therapy, it’s important for clients to work with their therapist to define clear and attainable goals. Instead of aiming to “fix everything,” break down issues into manageable parts. For example, rather than wanting to “get rid of anxiety,” a more realistic goal might be to “learn strategies to manage anxiety in stressful situations.”
• Emphasizing the Process, Not Just the Outcome
  Therapy is about the journey, not just the destination. Encouraging clients to focus on the steps they are taking, even small ones, can help them appreciate the ongoing process. Progress often looks like two steps forward and one step back, and that’s okay.
• Fostering Self-Responsibility
  It’s essential for clients to understand that while therapists provide guidance, they are not the ones who change lives—the clients themselves are. Empowering clients to take responsibility for their growth can shift the expectation from being helped to being actively involved in their own healing.
• Normalizing Setbacks
  Normalizing setbacks as part of the growth process helps clients develop resilience. It’s important to remind clients that relapses, moments of doubt, and slow progress are all natural. By seeing these as opportunities for learning, clients can reframe setbacks as valuable experiences rather than failures.
• Understanding the Complexity of Emotions
  Therapy can help clients learn that emotions, even uncomfortable ones, are a normal part of the human experience. Shifting the expectation from “I should always feel happy” to “I can manage my emotions more effectively” can foster a healthier relationship with oneself.
• Involving Loved Ones When Possible
  When expectations involve changes in relationships, it can be helpful to involve loved ones in the therapeutic process if appropriate. Family therapy, couples counselling, or even simply discussing the therapeutic work with those close to the client can help align expectations and facilitate real, positive changes.

Therapy can be transformative, but it’s important to approach it with realistic expectations. By setting achievable goals, embracing the process, and normalizing the ups and downs, clients can have a more fulfilling and effective therapeutic experience. Therapy is not about eradicating problems but about learning to navigate life’s challenges with greater awareness, resilience, and self-compassion. Both clients and therapists play a role in shaping these realistic expectations, paving the way for meaningful, long-lasting change.